Shaolin Girl review (gua.com.my)

by Max Koh


11 August 2008

Title:
Shaolin Girl

Cast:
Kou Shibasaki, Toru Nakamura, Yosuke Okamura, Kitty Zhang, Lam Chi Chung and Tin Kai Man

Genre:
Action, Adventure, Comedy

Review:
Dear Stephen Chow,

I am a big fan of your movies. I love most of your films and ‘mou-lei-tou’ (Cantonese for nonsensical) humour. When I saw your name attached to this film as the producer, I thought “Wow, this must be good!”

Then I saw the title and thought this must be a sequel of sorts to your hilarious ‘Shaolin Soccer’ (2001). But how wrong I was. ‘Shaolin Girl’ was boring, derivative, unfunny and utterly inferior to your original film.

Midway through the film, I wanted to scream, “Why, Mr. Chow, why? Why did you allow this film to be made and have your name attached to it!!??”

But after a long deliberation over a cup of coffee and barbecued chicken wings, I realised that you wanted to teach us some lessons with this film. Oh, you are such a genius, Mr Chow. No wonder you were listed as one of Time Asia’s most important people.

Anyway, I took the time to list down the lessons I’ve learnt from this film. They are:

1) Being a producer is different from being a director. Yes, I know you have rejected calls to direct a sequel to your smash hit. Yet, you agreed to have Katsuyuki Motohiro direct this Japanese spin-off of your beloved film. And thus, you didn’t have much input in the creative process. Therefore, instead of the slapstick comedy that one would expect, the film was void of laugh-out-loud funny moments, any good action or *gasp*, dare I say it – anything resembling the comic genius of your film.

2) ‘Shaolin Girl’ is a Japanese production that tries to expand on your first film and adapt it for Japanese audiences. Therefore, it is riddled with melodrama, boring dialogues, and unrealistic CGI that is sure to appease the taste buds of anime-fed Japanese. However, fans outside the Land of the Rising Sun are not amused.

3) No one does ‘mou-lei-tou’ better than you. Only you can carry off such comic situations without their coming across as lame. And the absence of your creative force in this film is evident. Even the casting of Tin Kai Man and Lam Chi Chung (from ‘Shaolin Soccer’) was not enough to tickle our funny bones. We need you.

4) No one pays homage to idols better than you. The fighting scenes at the end come across as mocking Bruce Lee rather than celebrating him. Also, it is clear that Hong Kong has the best choreographers for kung-fu fighting scenes. The action scenes here are slow and uninspiring.

5) The film is about a talented kung fu teacher Rin (Shibasaki) who returns to Japan to take over her grandfather’s dojo after training for 3,000 days in a Shaolin temple. However, she ends up playing lacrosse for a university team that is headed by an evil director who tempts her to join the dark side. She must learn to control her powers lest she is forever lost to the Sith’s empire ... oops, I mean the university’s evil ways. But why is the plotline so familiar? And why is the story not as compelling? Oh, cause you did not write it.

6) I have to make sure I don’t get my expectations too high just because your name is attached to it.

We can see that the film suffered because of the absence of your creative input. Clearly, we need you. And maybe it is a lesson for you too. That you need to be careful before you give the green light to directors to expand on your films. Sigh...

I shall wait with expectation for your ‘Kung Fu Hustle’ sequel, which you will direct. For now, I will watch ‘Justice My Foot’ and ‘Chinese Odyssey’ for a dose of your comic genius and pretend I did not watch this at all.

Sincerely,
Wong Jing